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Birthday fic: What Not to Wear, 1/1

Title: What Not to Wear
Author: htbthomas
Fandom: Smallville
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,285 words
Betas: van_el and mark_clark
Summary: Clark asks Lois to help him dress for his first day at the Daily Planet.
Author’s Note: A belated birthday fic for moonshayde. Her prompt: “Lois does something that sparks deeper feelings in Clark.” And I swear I had this idea before the spoiler post I read earlier… :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Oh, my God, Smallville…” Lois moaned in disbelief. “I thought you said you improved your wardrobe?”

Clark grimaced, keeping silent. He was starting Monday at the Daily Planet. Perry White, the new editor, had hired him on the spot. He had claimed to be impressed with the freelance work Clark had done while traveling the world the last three years. Clark secretly wondered if he remembered the kid who had saved him years ago in Smallville. If he had, he was keeping mum.

There was one condition to working there, though… he would be partnered with Lois Lane.

Lois pushed aside shirt after shirt, making noises of disgust. She lifted out a brown corduroy jacket with flannel lining. “Are you serious?” she murmured under her breath. Removing it from the hanger, she tossed the jacket to the floor, adding aloud, “Most of this stuff has to go.”

“Lois!” He shifted the heavy frames of his glasses in agitation. “Is that really necessary?”

Lois had seemed pleased to see him, even impressed that he had landed a job in the newsroom instead of the basement. But when Lois had found out she would be partnered with him… She had taken one look at his oversized suit coat and baggy pants, and rolled her eyes. “I guess you can take the boy out of the farm—

He’d cut her off, suggesting that maybe she could help him pick out something to wear on the first day – which he was starting to regret.

“If Perry is going to team me with you, you need to learn how to dress – I mean, c’mon – baggy suits and sweaters?” She threw a couple of striped shirts on the floor. “And I thought plaid was the worst I'd have to worry about!”

Item after item came out of the closet, interspersed with snarky comments like, “I can see you didn’t get your fashion sense from Martha…” and “You know there are other colors for ties other than red and blue!” Clark could only watch in a growing state of alarm, mixed with a growing urge to kick her out.

When the clothing storm subsided, Lois was left surrounded by piles of “unsuitable” clothes. The closet held exactly two shirts, one pair of pants and four ties. Clark’s eyes widened in incredulity. “I suppose I’ll need to do laundry every night?”

“No, are you kidding? What you’ll need…” She hopped over the pile despite her two inch heels. “…is a whole new wardrobe.”

- - - - -

Some time later, he found himself standing in front of a three-way mirror, Lois fussing over the last bits of his outfit. Lois had definite opinions about what would and would not look good on him. He had found it was better not to argue.

Being led about did give him time to think, however, about whether or not he should continue the “hero” lifestyle. Now that he was back in Metropolis to stay, Ollie and the others had been bugging him about joining them permanently. But how could he continue to do good things and not be found out?

When traveling the world, he could help with a crisis, save someone’s life, and then move on. Here, he’d have to wear some sort of costume, put on a mask… but Clark couldn’t imagine doing that. As much as people were grateful for help, they also felt a touch of fear when seeing a mask or hood. He experienced it first hand when he had pretended to be Green Arrow. For all of Lois’ bravery that night, her heart had been racing a million miles an hour.

He had started to wear a pair of heavy glasses off and on for the last month, trying them out. He’d remove them for a rescue, and leave as quickly as possible. And maybe it would work, Lois hadn’t even remarked once about the glasses since their little reunion yesterday. But there was something missing – he had a feeling he was getting close to the answer…

“There.” Lois stepped back and admired her creation. “Now you look like Lois Lane’s partner.”

Clark drew out of his thoughts and focused on the mirror. He looked so… professional. She’d picked out a dark gray suit and vest combo, with a crisp white shirt and deep green tie. The jacket fit snugly but with pleasing lines. He couldn’t believe what a good job she had done. “This is a nice suit.”

“Nice?” Lois smiled in admiration. “It’s a damn sight more than that. It’s fabulous.” She brought her hand up to her chin, frowning slightly. “But I think we need to make just one more adjustment.”

Without warning, she reached up to pluck his glasses from his face. As she touched the earpiece, Clark reached up quickly, but not too quickly, to capture her wrist between his fingers.

“What?” Lois tilted her head, frowning slightly. She didn’t pull her wrist away or let go of his glasses, seeming completely unfazed by the contact. “Did you think I was going to make you ditch the glasses?”

“Weren’t you?” he responded cautiously.

“No…” she said with a mild smirk. “I like guys with glasses. Makes them look hot.”

Clark averted his eyes from Lois’, suddenly embarrassed, though he wasn’t sure why.

“But these…” She gently twisted her wrist to break away from his fingers, and he let her slip free. She placed her hands in a pseudo-frame in the air in front of his eyes. “They don’t really flatter your face.”

That’s kind of the point! he thought with a touch of exasperation. But Lois went on before he could protest.

“These frames are sort of… ‘cartoonish.’ I mean, they’re so big they almost take up half of your face! Whereas, these…” She reached into a bag on the floor beside the mirror and pulled out a set of frames – had she gone to get these while he was in the dressing room? – and then held them up for his inspection.

They were thin and brown, with much smaller lenses than the glasses he had on now. “I don’t know…”

“C’mon, Smallville. Don’t you trust me?”

Seeing her standing there, a confident smile lighting her eyes, touched some little part of him deep inside. She had completely taken charge today… and he had to admit that he kinda liked it. He removed the large, black frames in surrender.

Lois slipped the new frames over his ears and stepped back to admire her final touch. “There. Perfect.”

Clark looked at his reflection. The man staring back at him actually looked like a big city journalist. There was no trace of the boy who used to wear the same two barn jackets in rotation. “Wow.”

“Do you see what I mean? Professional, intelligent-looking...” A devilish grin stole onto her face and she added, “I almost don’t recognize you.”

“Ha ha,” Clark laughed sarcastically, but inwardly he was pleased. She was right. He looked totally different. Who could imagine a man like this lifting two tons of steel over his head? “Seriously, Lois, thank you.”

“No problem, Clark. Any time. In fact, now that we’ve got your professional look down…” She came close to him, leaning in to speak in a low voice. “I’ve seen what Ollie and your other pals wear for their ‘night jobs.’” A chill went down his spine as she leaned even closer, speaking in almost a whisper. “If you ever need someone to help you with yours…”

Lois pulled away with an enigmatic look, leaving him slack-jawed in shock. She gathered up the clothes she’d selected and walked toward the register, throwing over her shoulder, “…I’ve got a few ideas.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
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Apr. 6th, 2008 09:55 pm (UTC)
Haha. I love the end. ♥
And I love how Lois just took over and Clark couldn't do anything but sit back and watch.
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
Well, that's part of Lois' inherent awesomeness - right? The ability to just take over. ;)

Apr. 6th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
:D I loved it!:DD
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And I see you are now making your way through the rest of my Smallville fics. :D
(no subject) - mary_v - Apr. 6th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I just figure that Lois has been keeping quiet for a while now. She's too good not to know, and great at secret-keeping, as we all know! :)
Apr. 6th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
OMG, the end! *flails*

Hee, here I was thinking What an adorable fic, Lois dragging Clark shopping, and then BAM! I love it! :D
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm the Queen of the BAM!, don'tcha know? :D

Thanks for the review!
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
Oh that was so cute. Thank you! I was grinning through the entire thing. And the voices were spot on :)
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad you liked it! And thanks for giving me a Smallville prompt - I've had the most fun with these. ♥
Apr. 6th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
“C’mon, Smallville. Don’t you trust me?”

That's the line that touched him, and it's the true nature of their relationship. They trust each other. So, I can imagine this happening, and Lois being Lois is a like a whirlwind. *LOL* Loved the touch with the glasses. Pefect ending, too!:D

Thanks, hon!:D
Apr. 7th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
They do trust each other - I think they have one of the most healthy relationships in the show... I hope that's played on when Season 8 hits.

Apr. 7th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
I cannot leave a coherent review. I am laughing too hard. Sorry. :)
Apr. 7th, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
I am laughing at your review, so all is good... :)
Apr. 7th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
Oh I liked this, especially the ending!
Apr. 7th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
Thanks! I love to end with a little surprise!
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Splendid -- I love that you keep Lois as opinionated, mouthy, hyper-critical, clever and still a great friend for Clark!
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Hee! Smallville's Lois is so great that way! She really lets loose, and I love that about her. ♥ Thanks for the review!
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
LOIS FTW! This was just an amazing fic. I was smiling throughout. Lois taking charge was too great and SO her. Poor Clark just didn't stand a chance.

I LOVED the end! I squeed! Lois is so brilliant, it's great.

You totally captured their characters and the dialogue was so witty and perfect for those two.

Excellent work!!
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
Oh, yeah, Lois rocks... (You so cannot tell my bias in this story, can you?)

Thanks for coming over and checking it out -- these Smallville fics have been so much fun to do. ♥
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
That was fantabulous! So fantabulous in fact...that i didn't even realize my kitchen was on fire. Lol, true story
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
Oh, no! I hope all is well!

But seriously, that's pretty high praise. Thanks! :)
(no subject) - cuyler_morgan - Apr. 7th, 2008 02:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 7th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Hehehehe!!! *giggles madly* XD I love the way you turned this around, with his 'Office Clark' look actually looking *professional* instead of dorky, while still somewhat concealing him. And Lois as the designer of THE SUIT!! XD I love it!!

*squees* ^_^
Apr. 7th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
Hehehe, I think it's because Tom Welling seems to look stunning whenever he dresses up - probably because we are using to seeing those same godawful barn jackets. :D I mean, a dorky suit and pair of glasses wouldn't fool a Lois who knew him for years anyway, would it?

Thanks for the review!
Apr. 7th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
gqma'gsd;lgsd I love it so much you made me keyboard-smash. You have Clark and Lois so down. ♥

Clark could only watch in a growing state of alarm, mixed with a growing urge to kick her out.

Hah. I can imagine him trying, and Lois kicking his ass.
Apr. 7th, 2008 02:25 am (UTC)
Yay! Keyboard smashing is awesome. :)

Lois kicking his ass? I'd pay to see that... or maybe just watch it over and over. :D
Apr. 7th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC)
oh that was just AWESOME!! Well written and so in character. loved the bit about the two barn jackets worn in rotation. BRILLIANCE.
Apr. 7th, 2008 09:34 am (UTC)
I find these two so much fun to write... and I'm excited about the direction of the last season, too. (Please let my hopes not be too high!)

Thanks for the review, and welcome to my f-list! :)
Apr. 8th, 2008 03:32 am (UTC)
Nicely done! This was Lois to a 'T', and the ending was perfect! :)
Apr. 8th, 2008 10:11 am (UTC)
:) Thanks! Smallville's Lois is so much fun to write, and it's fun to ponder just how "the suit" would come about in this universe!
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