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A Dear John letter...

Dear fullmetal_cute,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you.
I think I realized it last year with George Bush and his wife and I saw you ignore my father.
I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand how awful I felt.
I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory.
You should also know that I get sick when I think of the incarnation as an eskimo.
Go burn,
htbthomas

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last commented on your journal),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.
I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.
I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Other; With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Other; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
Italy - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Tags:

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
loisxxlane
Apr. 2nd, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
Ah! I swear..I was like "??..."
But I'm definately doing this. Tis funny.
xD
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:24 am (UTC)
I must have seemed crazy... :D
oldromantic
Apr. 2nd, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
LOL, I JUST did one of these! It's hilarious!!
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
Isn't it? Mine makes so much more sense than it should. :D
oldromantic
Apr. 3rd, 2008 01:49 am (UTC)
That makes it all the more funny! :D
spiletta42
Apr. 2nd, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
I was all, "What's this wanky go-se, I thought she was nice!"
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
Well, live and learn... ;)
babettew54
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
Strange meme!:D And so funny! I'll have to do this one!:D
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
Yes! I could NOT resist it.
autumnrae89
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
?!?!?!?!?!

I almost had a heart attack. I was like 'What? Her majesty would never say such things!'

So, I got here and well...*sigh of relief*

Then...*Proceeds to strangle meme*

But I will steal this from you.
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
Her majesty's changing moods are legendary.
autumnrae89
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:35 am (UTC)
*Hides*

I've never experienced them.

*Stays hidden and worries*

The only thing you have to worry about when I get mad is whether or not you put your breakables away and are you standing minimum safe distance.

I'm a violatile kind of person.
gapporin
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
No one expects the Spanish -- er, I mean, her majesty's changing moods!
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
I'll have the cake, please.
gapporin
Apr. 3rd, 2008 04:13 am (UTC)
Very well! Give her cake.

We're gonna run out of cake at this rate...
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 09:41 am (UTC)
I'm glad I'm not the next guy in line... *whew*
thrace_adams
Apr. 3rd, 2008 01:46 am (UTC)
Oh this is too funny, I'm totally doing this!
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 09:40 am (UTC)
Oh, yes... :D
ellalou73
Apr. 3rd, 2008 02:10 am (UTC)
I just did this myself and holy moly is this every funny. You know it reminds me of those old MAd Lib games that they had back when I was little, only we never put things in there that were really appropriate...
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 09:40 am (UTC)
Did anyone? I think the only time I put in "appropriate" words was when an adult was doing it with us... :D
killingmytime
Apr. 3rd, 2008 03:02 am (UTC)
what a weird and funny meme :D
htbthomas
Apr. 3rd, 2008 09:41 am (UTC)
LOL, I know. I couldn't resist it. :D
midori79
Apr. 3rd, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
Huh?!, then Ohhhh.

OK, I'm trying this one.
htbthomas
Apr. 4th, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
I know, so much fun, right?
shaan_lien
Apr. 4th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)
dude . . . just dude *shakes head* you had me going
htbthomas
Apr. 4th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
That's the beauty of this meme... LOL.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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